A Spark of Joy Read online

  A Spark of Joy

  Lea Darragh

  www.romance.com.au

  A Spark of Joy

  Lea Darragh

  Sometimes life is bigger than what you want.

  Seeking a change of pace to mend her bruised heart, Olivia Cooper upends her life and moves halfway across the world. Landing in coastal Cobblers Cove, she’s determined to not repeat the past… no longer will she search for the happy-ever-after cliché of marriage and babies.

  Successful photographer Josh Fraser is the perfect distraction. Josh has been avoiding all of the big things in life, and his quiet solitude intrigues Olivia. She successfully coaxes him out from behind his camera, but after a gorgeous night together they are left grappling with their choices.

  When fate brings them together again eight months later, they must face up to the consequences of their actions. In order to be the best they can be for the future, they will have to delve deep into their fears and possibly, possibly, fit all of their broken pieces into place. Sometimes, pure joy is found beyond your greatest fear.

  About the author

  Australian bestselling author, LEA DARRAGH, lives in central Gippsland, Victoria, with her three ever-growing children and husband, who remind her to smile and appreciate the world as it passes by. She adores painting pictures with words, especially when the leaves change and the fire is lit, truly opening the gateway to her imagination. She was once a dreamer of stories, until she decided one day to try her hand at creating a whole new world of her own. Telling tales of hope and desperation, love and loss, Lea has written characters everyone can relate to at one point or another. She will never shy away from the difficulties that life throws at us, and will bravely continue to write about them.

  Acknowledgements

  Thank you goes to Nicola Robinson at Escape Publishing for giving this story a chance. I’m grateful you see something in my work, and allow it to be whisked off into the hearts of readers.

  Thank you to my clever and insightful editor, Chrysoula Aiello, for bringing even more shine to this spark.

  Thanks always goes to author friends, Jacquie Underdown, Juliet Madison, Kali Anthony and Alexa Bravo, who all deserve gold medals for encouraging this author to keep on going despite the constant urge to give up. I truly appreciate the quieting of the doubt that you all provide.

  And to my family. You are the true sparks of joy.

  To Maggie, our very first spark of joy, who came to us on a bright Christmas morning.

  Contents

  About the Author

  Acknowledgements

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Bestselling Titles by Escape Publishing …

  Chapter 1

  ‘Come here often?’ Josh said as he filled the empty space at the bar beside me. I took a second before turning, because his voice alone was enough to inject adrenaline into my veins. Seeing his gorgeous face, that would take some preparation. I’d waited all night for this moment, wondering if he’d approach me, deciding if the zing I’d felt for years between us was all in my imagination. Now that he had, I needed to play it cool. I had to ignore the impulse to throw myself into his arms, because I didn’t know for sure that he’d catch me.

  I gave him a wry smile. ‘Clever line,’ I said, with or without humour I couldn’t discern. Did I want to be funny? Should I play hard to get? Should I make it easy for him? What did men truly want?

  The opening night of the luxury beachfront hotel, The Cove—the first of its kind as Cobblers Cove gathered a reputation for its stunning beaches and seclusion—was going off without a hitch. Boisterous conversations and glass-clinking filled the air, celebrating a job well done by all involved in bringing to life what was once a mere idea. Being the head interior designer was a stressful task, and I was satisfied with the result I’d fought hard to create. The excitement and relief were palpable, yet I watched on as Josh rotated his empty glass between his fingers, dissatisfied as he said nothing more. Was that it? Was that all he had in his repertoire? Four glasses of Sav Blanc; at least they gave me the courage to front up to him. Five years I’d wanted this moment, for us to be face to face without work between us. We’d flirted, albeit low key. In the past, we’d had flickers of moments that could truly matter in the future. I’d felt something in his blue-eyed glance, or in the way he’d hover, to stay back cleaning his cameras, and go over photos on site when he didn’t have to, just to tell me something nice about the work I’d done. These tiny things could be passed off as good manners, but I felt like I’d truly been seen when I could have easily been ignored. I felt noticed. That I mattered. And all he could give me now was a cliché? I didn’t for one minute believe that these things only meant something to me. I kept my focus locked on his eyes—my heart pounding in my ears—daring him to invite me to be more. Then his eyes came to life, dancing across my face.

  ‘Your drink, ma’am,’ the bartender said, but I couldn’t move because at the same time Josh reached out to me.

  ‘Take my hand,’ he said when I glanced down at it. ‘I want to show you something.’

  My heart began to pick up pace. ‘Why should I?’

  ‘Because, Olivia Campbell, you know as well as I do that it’s time.’

  I went to speak but had to clear the nerves from my throat first. ‘Time for what?’

  His hand was still out. ‘For anything.’

  And with my breath held and his mouth smiling, I reached for him like I’d wanted to so many times before. When my hand slowly landed in his, our palms together, his fingers holding me there, off the edge of my comfort zone I leapt.

  ‘What is this place?’ I said, unable to take it all in at once. Here, away from the rowdy party, there was quiet … aside from the slow roll of the ocean, and the swish of the sword grass in the dunes. The night air was crisp. The sky endlessly black and star-strewn. A view I’d seen almost every night since arriving in this country, but with Josh at my side, there was a shift. The mood was different, less solitary, and as my hand rested perfectly in his, my heart was changing, too. Along Cobblers Cove’s shoreline were caves and crevices, the rocks carpeted with lush green moss. A small inlet could be missed by those who didn’t grow up here but a world away, where ocean hideaways like this seemed but a dream.

  ‘It’s quieter in the winter,’ Josh said while leading us, navigating between rocks below, beside and above. ‘Prettier, too. The blue and grey hues are the most beautiful, vivid colours I’ve ever seen.’

  He stopped as we came out the other side as if into another universe. There was nothing man-made to be seen. No lights. No hotels or houses. Pure, uninhabited land. The earth and the sky. But between them—tonight—two souls were drifting closer to one another. He turned to face me, still holding my hand; he slipped the other around my waist. The full moon gave view to the palpable heat between him and me. I gazed up at him, immediately saw the confidence he’d flounced earlier disappearing from his grin. His eyes sparked a little less. His lips twitched, almost trembled, the longer I held him there in the quiet moment. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t feel as awkward as he seemed.

  ‘I saw you earlier,’ he said. ‘On the beach. Dancing’

  ‘Oh.’ Shite. ‘I thought no one was watching.’

  Josh shifted closer. I immediately caught his woodsy, with a little spice, scent. My stomach flipped the inst
ant I smelled it, him. The familiar pang and zinging excitement I delighted in because I’d never known a man to smell so heavenly. I shook my head slightly to regain composure. His belly was against mine. Both hands around my waist, drawing me in. His mouth just a breath away, I closed my eyes imagining his kiss, hoping this wasn’t a cruel dream.

  ‘I was mesmerised by you, and this dress that danced along with you,’ he said, then pressed his lips to my forehead a second. ‘Look at me, Olivia.’ I did, noting something joyous in his eyes but also something hidden beyond that. ‘The sun was going down,’ he went on. ‘You were truly golden. So free and completely spellbinding.’

  The wine was wearing off. All poise was lost as my blood pumped the inebriant away. I had to reach out, too, if I wanted this. I curved my hands around his neck, lacing my fingers in his dark curls. ‘A much better line than before,’ I said because I don’t know how to take a compliment.

  ‘I can’t stop thinking about you,’ he went on.

  I played with his hair that hung at the nape of his neck, trying to keep my eyes on his, fighting to temper the intensity of what may be about to happen. ‘Since sunset?’ I said, prompting him.

  He smiled. ‘No,’ he said. ‘Since I first saw you.’

  ‘Then why wait this long?’

  ‘The same reason you did.’

  I gazed at him, my fingers beginning to tremble. His ocean eyes were darkening, flickering. They dipped their focus to my lip as I bit down on it.

  ‘You feel it,’ he said. ‘It can’t be just me.’

  I lifted my face to his. ‘Tell me what I was wearing that first time.’

  ‘That’s easy,’ he said. ‘Cut-off shorts because it was a scorching January day. A white t-shirt tucked in at the front. Your hair was in a top knot that was near falling out. You kept blowing wisps out of your face as you worked.’ He laughed lightly at the memory, reaching up to tuck my hair behind my ear. ‘You’re sunshine, and you don’t even know it.’

  ‘You need sunshine, even here in Cobblers Cove?’

  He shook his head. ‘I need your kind of sunshine.’

  I laughed then, dropping my hands away and stepping back a little. ‘Wow, you’re good.’

  I don’t know if it’s habit, or genetics, or even my English heritage, but I never have handled compliments well. It’s easier to portray modesty than to admit what you’re being told is completely true, especially when it’s the gorgeous love-of-your-life, Josh Fraser, who is dishing out the niceties.

  ‘It’s not a line,’ he said, holding his palm to his chest. ‘I can feel it, between you and me. Can’t you?’

  There’d be no return if I let go of my heart and gave it to him to hold. I stared at him, on the precipice. I could continue to hide myself from life, or I could learn to truly live. Then I let him pull me against him, kiss me long and deep. His arms clinched me to his body. All I could breathe was him. All I could taste was his need. In this world that only belonged to us, all I wanted was for him to kiss me like this forever. I was flying as his tongue dipped against mine. He whispered against my lips, his hands spanned, needy, against my back and slowly around my ribs.

  ‘Tell me something I don’t know about you,’ he said as he kissed down my throat.

  ‘You want to talk?’ I said, tilting my head, giving him my neck.

  ‘If we don’t …’ he trailed off as he found my mouth again, his fingers lifting my dress higher up my thighs.

  ‘I could tell you anything,’ I said between kisses. ‘Because really you don’t know me at all.’

  He slowed his lips, opening his eyes to find mine. His hands came to rest on my hips. ‘It’s been five years. How can that be true?’

  ‘Does it not feel that way?’ I said, wanting him to feel as I did—that we were connected on a level neither of us understood.

  He shook his head. ‘Not at all.’

  ‘Then why did you wait so long?’ I asked again, because I needed to know why he’d make all of this effort. Why after all of these years, practically living a hermit life, he’d want to suddenly burst forth from that. He lifted a brow. ‘It’ll be a lot to handle, won’t it?’

  He laughed lightly. ‘To say that it’ll scare the shit out of me would be an understatement.’

  I kissed him once more. ‘Enlighten me?’

  He took my hand and we sat high in the dunes. ‘The biggest moments of our lives always do.’

  ‘But you’re trusting me?’

  He gazed out at the ocean. ‘We’re the same in some ways. We prefer to be alone dancing on a beach, or behind a camera, rather than inserting ourselves into the fray. This gives us time to know ourselves instead of seeing who we are through the eyes of everybody else. On that level, I trust that we might fit, yes.’

  I gave my attention to the ocean as he was.

  ‘I’ve risked being scared for love before. Just saying.’ I nudged him with my shoulder. ‘I’m not assuming that’s what this is. I’ve taken risks wanting to believe I’m enough for a person to take a plunge with.’

  ‘And how did that work out?’

  ‘I’m half a world away from my home, and I still couldn’t be further away from all of them.’

  He turned to me. ‘What did they do to you?’

  I shrugged. ‘Cheat. Lie. Each one of them with the line of the century that led me to believe they were different. But they never were. So, I moved away from all I knew, hoping to find something I’d never experienced before. Not just a relationship; I’m here for the sun and relaxed culture that Australia exudes. I needed a breath of fresh air.’

  ‘You got one?’

  I couldn’t help but smile. ‘Every day. Tell me something I don’t know about you.’

  ‘Where to start?’ He laughed awkwardly.

  I shrugged. ‘Pick anything.’

  ‘Ok, um,’ he said.

  ‘Why did you become a photographer?’ I prompted.

  ‘Because it helps me to focus solely on one thing, rather than having the peripheral distract me.’

  ‘Huh. Interesting.’

  He grinned. ‘Yeah?’

  ‘Of course. You’ve never really looked me right in the eye. Most of the time you look away right after talking to me. I thought it was because you just didn’t want to spend more time with me than you had to. Maybe it wasn’t.’

  ‘It wasn’t that at all,’ he reassured me. ‘The subject doesn’t ask anything of me. It just lets me see it. I can marvel in it without having to give anything back.’

  ‘So, why me? Why tonight?’

  He gazed at me. ‘Because even without the camera, all I’ve been able to see is you. I don’t know what that means, but it has to be something, doesn’t it?’

  After a beat I said, ‘I think it does.’

  ‘So, let’s live in this moment.’

  ‘It’s all anyone can do.’

  He kissed me then, just once, because we were feeling our way. The simplest of gestures were the most significant.

  ‘Have you been married before?’ he asked me.

  ‘I was proposed to once. The engagement lasted a week before I found him in bed with his ex. He was such a shite. I hated myself for so long for not seeing who he truly was sooner. You?’

  ‘Never even came that close.’

  ‘Lucky you, in some ways.’

  ‘True.’

  ‘You’d like to though?’

  He scooped up a handful of sand and let it trail through his fingers. ‘I flip-flop. Most days when I give it thought, I decide that I don’t.’

  I’d be lying if I said that didn’t disappoint me. ‘Shitty history, too?’

  He dropped his head. ‘You could say that.’

  ‘So? Kids?’

  ‘That’s something I’m never indecisive about,’ he said, looking at me again, but with more scrutiny than before. ‘I know I don’t want to be a father.’

  ‘I bet that has an impact on falling in love.’

  ‘It really does. How do you feel ab
out it?’

  ‘Having kids?’

  He nodded, keeping his focus on me. ‘Do you ever want to be a mum?’

  ‘I don’t know if that can even happen for me.’

  ‘Because you haven’t found the right person or …?’

  ‘No. Physically.’

  ‘Oh,’ he said. ‘I’m sorry.’

  ‘It’s ok. There’s a possibility, but there’d be risks if I were to go ahead with a pregnancy.’

  ‘But you’d like to still, one day?’

  ‘If I were to take those risks, the circumstance would have to be just right. I do love kids, though.’

  ‘They say that’s all it takes to raise them.’

  ‘Maybe one day if I get the chance, I’ll find out,’ I said. Seriousness was etched in his eyes. ‘I bet you didn’t think it’d get this deep when you asked me to tell you something about myself, did you? You were expecting a favourite colour or something, right?’

  ‘Certainly, would have been easier to process,’ he said finally, with a laugh.

  ‘It’s blue, by the way.’

  ‘Nice.’

  ‘You?’

  ‘Same.’

  ‘Well, there you go. You want to kiss me again?’ I said. I’d always seemed to crave more Josh.

  ‘I really do.’

  And he did: there on the sand, as he held my hand back through the caves, and as we stood under the light of my porch when I asked him to come in. And then long into the night as we ignored the fork our road might take. In the morning, when I woke and he was gone, I hoped he wasn’t like the rest of them. The following days painfully inched on, more so when I discovered he’d left the country and it was confirmed that he wasn’t who I thought he was… even worse still, that I truly didn’t know him at all and I was a complete fool to finally believe in something real.

  Chapter 2

  Eight months later…

  ‘So, where’s this baby-daddy of yours?’ Angie whispered as she knelt down beside me. ‘If that’s not too rude to ask, of course?’